Bin Laden family

What it must be like to be young, to be groovy and to have a date with destiny.

Three weeks hence, and it's all gone to Hell.

If you look at my entry for November 3, you'll see that, at least for a brief while, I was truly optimistic about things. Auspiciousness and synchronicity and all that. Well, three weeks later, everything has turned to shit. The Bosox won, but what do I care? I've never even been to Boston. It's cold as hell and from all accounts a half-assed city and who the fuck cares about their baseball team? I'm a Gator fan dadgummit! So the Gators lose to Georgia(for the 2nd time in 14 years), but more horrifyingly, Steve Spurrier decides to take the job at South Carolina. Florida's rival in the SEC East! Lying, cheating, stealing, murdering George W. Bush has the election stolen for him by his network of venal, scumbag political operatives. My new roommate loses his job and sulks and skulks around the house all day. My newly agreed upon 4-day, Monday-Thursday work week lasts until the first Thursday when the boss asks me to perform some not particularly urgent task on Friday. Etc., etc. Optimism is for suckers.

Puppy Patty?

My friend Stonus is currently in China sampling exotic foodstuffs. Though an adventurous eater, he might balk at the sight of one of these little guys.

Bush's Tailor.

This fellow was trotted out to explain that the outline of a transmitting device on GWB's back was nothing more than a wrinkle.

Cheater!

A scientist from Jet Propulsion laboratories enhanced the "wrinkle" in GWB's coat.

Election day: The end is nearer

Everything was lining up. I began keeping a list of all the auspicious events and synchronicities piling up: The Red Sox win 8 games in a row to win the World Series; a full moon and a lunar eclipse; the Florida-Georgia game coincides with the possible return of Steve Spurrier; I get a fat check in the mail; I get a raise; Halloween; and much more. All leading up to the election. Voter turnout is expected to reach an all time high. The execrable doofus Kerry is poised to unseat the petulant and illegitimate death merchant Bush. But then...

The federal government has always been a haven for the worst kind of liars, cheaters and stealers, but the pack of venal and remorseless mass-murderers and theives assembled under this White House ranks among the worst ever. If you were one of the hopelessly benighted, TV-addled simpletons who voted for Bush I have two choice words for you. The two words are not thank you.